Stanley had almost died at birth because the umbilical cord had tied around his neck. He described his problem as “being unable to speak and communicate with people”. He had worked hard on this issue and had tried a variety of modalities like Matrix Energetix, Family Constellations and Reconnective healing apart from EFT and Matrix Reimprinting and yet with little or no effect. Stanley admitted that he still felt a lot of anger and negative emotions.
Before starting the session I asked Stanley a few questions to establish his system of beliefs in order to know how to communicate with him. He told me that he was a shaman.
From the few sentences we exchanged I knew he was a deeply spiritual person. I directed Stanley to focus on the fetus he was in the womb but he was unable neither to visualize nor to get any sense. “Just blank” he reported. I changed the approach and asked him what feelings he had and which was the strongest one that he associated with the birth. He reported that it was “feeling disconnected, not wanted in this world”. We did slow tapping on “feeling disconnected” with no result as he was still disassociated. So I asked him how he knew that he was disconnected and he spontaneously exclaimed: ”Because I don’t feel anything! I feel numb!” and we tapped on that.
Prior to the session, I came across a book “The Emotion Code” by Dr Bradley Nelson where he describes how the subconscious mind builds walls around the heart to protect it from emotional pain and to numb it. I had found it with many of my clients and had used EFT to remove the underlying cause i.e. the emotional pain. I briefly explained the concept to Stanley and asked him whether he could see a wall around his heart, how thick it was, what material it was made of etc. He could immediately see a thick brick wall. So we started tapping on the presence of a heart wall and acknowledging the role it played to protect his heart. This was the breakthrough which helped Stanley to allow himself to experience feelings. I asked him what feeling was being kept away from him by this wall and he came back that it was the fear of pain, the fear of being hurt so we tapped on these fears to reduce intensity.
Then by asking him quick questions regarding the timing of the incident I established that this fear was felt during the time of birth and so I guided him to sense himself in the womb. At this point, he was able to access this kind of emotional information and he quickly tuned into the feeling of pain. After reducing some of its intensity by tapping on the baby in the womb I asked him whether the emotion belonged to the baby or to the mother. He was now able to sense that this was the mother’s pain after having a quarrel with her father-in-law.
Then all of a sudden Stanley grabbed his throat by his hand. His face got distorted in agony and his eyes shut. The spasm of his body was so powerful that he stopped breathing, so great the emotion was! I kept tapping on “this emotion”, “this suffocating”, “this fear of dying” and part of me felt a little worried while a bigger part of me felt utterly trusting the process and most of all the need for release. After a very long moment, Stanley drew new breath, opened his eyes with tears rolling down his face and a very palpable sense of relief.
Putting a hand on Stanley's neck caused him another spasm of suffocation as if his body was re-experiencing the birth trauma. It was worse than the first one and it took a really long moment before he drew a new breath. Intuitively I sensed that if I loudly breathed in and out this would help him and almost immediately after I loudly breathed out Stanley let go and restored his normal breathing. He widely opened his eyes showing us a face of great relief.
In order to check the result, I asked Stanley to check whether he still felt disconnected and had the heart wall. With a smile on his face, he explained that the “wall had crumbled down”.
This is what I have written in my diary after the session: “I feel humbled at the power of this work and the support we get from the invisible world”. To this very day I remember Stanley’s face beaming with relief.